I read bits from this lady’s blog and the info she’s got about the studies into attractiveness linked with a visible cue of disability like a walking stick and peoples perception of how much pain you’re in, how severe your disability is, and how deserving of medical attention you are is really interesting.
She concluded that unfortunately you should look as bad as you can when you go to the doctors which I completely disagree with!
By continuing to live the stereotype that only “poorly” looking or visibly handicapped people can struggle with their health then we are reinforcing it!!
I look how I look no matter where I’m going! I put makeup on to go to the doctors, my benefits assessments, hospital appointments, seeing my friends, going to the chemist, shops, networking meetings, cinema and out for lunch! This is how I look! If I’m too sick to put on make up then I generally don’t go out, if I had to, then I would, if be mortified, but I’m never going to make a special effort to look bad just to play into the trap of “but you don’t look sick” no, actually I don’t! (Even when I think I look bad, no one else thinks that I do) But I am!
The more we play to the crowd the more they’ll think that we’re faking it, because if you’re trying to look sick, then you are faking how you look! (Not how you feel) health is inside and outside, but mainly inside and I want people to recognise that. Just look how you look! If you usually have your hair perfect or messy, makeup or fresh faced, scruffy or groomed..that is how you look!!!!
I’m going to get my brows and toes done, put on my makeup, fingers will be Jamberried and I’ll be wearing my slogan T-shirt with some jeggings and slip on pretty shoes, jewellery, stick on my usual smile and venture out into the world.
I might not look sick, but I am!!
These photos have all been taken in the last couple of weeks. No filters, all selfies of me on my phone living my life. I don’t love a couple of them, but even in the “sick” one I don’t look too bad! I haven’t brushed my hair, no makeup on and still in my PJ’s. The one when I’m in black I’ve slicked my hair back because I didn’t have the energy to wash it, I haven’t had a shower for days and I was exhausted after trying on clothes that didn’t fit me, feeling like a fat minger, then climbing 2 flights of stairs!!! The PJ one is what I look like at home, clothes are too painful and uncomfortable to wear for a long time, so PJ’s on as soon as I get in the house!
You can’t see the pain that I’m in in any of these pictures. You can’t see how fatigued I’m feeling. You can’t see how much energy it’s taken me to make myself look “better” but that’s how I like to look. Feeling pretty(ish) makes me feel like I can face the world. The only outward signs of my ill health are my walking stick, scooter and wincing face moments when I get a burst of pain. That’s it. You can’t see anything else! And nothing is going to miraculously become visible, because I have an invisible illness, or 2, or 3…but who’s counting 😉 we shouldn’t have to try to look “sick” just to make other people believe us! We should work on making them believe us by explaining it to them, or just punch them in the face for being stupid and not believing us!