I know I’m all about positivity and try to keep a smile on my face and see the good in everything, but of course I get annoyed sometimes so here are some of my pet hates about being ill and having an invisible illness.
I hate it when…I have to throw food out because I haven’t had the energy to use it up before its gone off! Or when I fancy something but I can’t make it as it involves too many actions for that day!
I hate it when…I have to sit inside on a sunny day because I’m not well enough to get up, get dressed and go out.
I hate it when…I’m with friends and family with kids and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have them.
I hate it when…people park in disabled spaces without a blue badge.
I hate it when…I can’t go somewhere because there’s no parking close enough, and when I have to make people give loads of options before we can settle on a place to meet because I can’t manage all the ones they’ve come up with!
I hate it when…I can’t do things in the evenings because I’m too tired. I want to go to PSA meetings, see friends after they’ve finished work, watch a film after 3pm, do some writing, cook a meal…anything really, just have a bit more time in the day to be productive.
I hate it when…I can’t try clothes on in a shop because just shopping is too exhausting and getting in and out of clothes would tip me over the edge.
I hate it when…my washing up hasn’t been done for 3 days (and other household jobs) because I don’t have the energy to do it.
I hate it when…I forget to take my tablets and my pain gets worse.
I hate it when…small problems/changes mean that I have to waste my energy doing things I hadn’t planned for, like the chemist not having my prescription ready, taking the wrong documents to the post office for my car tax and people changing plans, adding things in or things taking longer than expected.
I hate it when…I can’t work full time and earn enough to support myself because of my health and have to claim benefits.
I hate it when…I can’t look how I want to because certain clothes hurt or I can’t put them on myself, or I can’t do my hair or put on my makeup.
I hate it when…I need to ask for help to do things like putting the bins out, cutting up food or pouring water from a jug.
I hate it when…I have to demean myself to strangers to qualify for benefits.
I hate it when…I have to get my food shopping delivered because I can’t manage it anymore. I actually liked going food shopping!
I hate it when…I think about the future and I have no idea what I’ll be able to do and can’t make long term plans.
I hate it when…I can’t sleep because I’m too itchy, in too much pain or my brain is on overdrive.
I hate it when…I miss deadlines or important information on letters and emails because I can’t concentrate long enough to read the whole thing, or do complicated tasks anymore.
I hate it when…I’m talking to someone and I loose words, call them the wrong name or totally forget what I’m talking about because of brain fog.
I hate it when…I have to think through every aspect of every single day to check what I can manage, what I’ll have to put off and what just won’t get done.
It’s exhausting having a chronic illness, It sucks being in pain and fatigued all the time, and it’s just awful trying to live a life between 11am and 3pm so I stick on a smile and make the best of things because I could also write a much longer list of all the good things in my life. It’s all about balance and what you focus your attention on.